Life is pain. (Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.)

True love is the greatest thing in the world.

People in masks can't be trusted.

Never start a land war in Asia.

Oh, and never go against a Sicilan when death is on the line.

The chocolate coating makes it go down easier.

When things go wrong, go back to the beginning.

List the little things among your assets.

Always take time to relax. If you don't have your health, you don't have anything.

If you rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.

Never let on that you're bluffing.

There's not a lot of money in revenge.

Make sure your way is sportsmanlike.

Lies do not become men of action.

Never talk to strange men. ("A word, my lady?")

The boat behind you is probably NOT out on a pleasure cruise, especially if it's the middle of the night, in eel-infested waters, and appears to be following you.

True love doesn't happen every day.

Names are important. (No one would surrender to the Dread Pirate Westley)

Always have a friend on the Brute Squad.

Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it for a while.

When jogging someone's memory, be careful not to jog it too hard.

Things often aren't as "inconceivable" as they first appear.

Sometimes, you just have to wait. ("I don't suppose you could'a speed things up?")