You know you've been playing Realm too much when . . .
You have a birthday and think to yourself that you've leveled.
You walk into a shoe store and ask for glowie boots.
You don't take a map with you when you travel because you can always teleport home.
You kill a hornet in your house and wonder why you didn't get any experience points.
Your significant other wants to know why you redecorated the house by placing long skirts and robes of the same color all over the floor.
You know the words to all of the spell incantations. Clactous Faery! Halome Sadar!
You try to insert smilies into Instant Messaging programs by hitting the alt key and a number.
You're shocked to discover that Alt-F4 closes other programs besides Realm.
You tell your mother you want Elphames scales for your birthday.
She gives them to you. (She's a realmer, too!)
You know exactly how to get to Marvin's Magic Store (and the good fights along the way) but you draw a blank when you try to give directions to your local post office.
You're incredibly disappointed to find you can't download the Realm opening song as a ringtone for your cell phone.
You try to insult someone by telling them they have an intel of 2.
Submissions from other Realm Players
.....you make your morning coffee over and over until your stamina is depleted.
....you go for a jog in the park and have to restrain yourself from Death Wishing nearby Ogre Children.
....you explain to the girl behind the counter at McDonalds that you're only eating there because you lost all your mana on the drive into work that morning.
....you approach a woman in a club and use that most deadly of pickup lines "MM Hitter LFG for SP, /t me pls".
....you can't pass by someone named Bryan without snickering.
....ask your carpool buddies to Gather you when they get there.
....your natural reaction to snow falling isn't to run out and get milk and bread, but to stock up on amber rods and adamantium blocks.
....you automatically assume every woman you meet is actually a guy.
....you consider going for a drive, but can't bring yourself to leave Town.
....someone cuts you off and you scream a pvp challenge out the window.
....you think swinging a Big Purple Weapon is Cool.
....you sit down to write your kids names on the tags of their clothes and school stuff and catch yourself writing "6x Fin Backpack" instead.
....the kids act up and you threaten to get out the Wrath.
....you ask the man at the shoe store whether the boots he's showing you are chanted already.
....you watch the Olympic Acrobatics displays on TV and think "Fufu would have a field day with these losers!"
....you wear one hat at work, another at home, and another out on the Town.
....you find yourself adopting people as your uncles, aunts, and parents just two weeks after meeting them.
....you just shrug after failing a test at school, saying that you must not have had enough build points when you read the book.
....you make your final arrangements and tell your lawyer to stipulate that there must be locks on your coffin, to foil the looters.
....you can't turn the TV to channel 5 without cringing.
....you keep your valuables in a box in the middle of your bedroom floor.
....you're hesitant to turn on the fireplace in your livingroom for fear that it will never go out again.
....you begin to refer to all authority figures in your life as Moderators, and make faces at them when they're not looking.
When you cross the county line..and expect to hear the Bloodwood theme playing .
When your kids come home late..and can't get in.. you leave a potion engraved on the lawn.. saying password has been changed...
You see road kill, and start looking for a chip or marble.
You only buy stocks when you can get a price for the ticker symbol on 5.
You can't understand why the Halloween wizard's hat that you smeared with glo goo isnt the peak of fashion.
You refuse to close a deal at the office until you get refs for the other corporation.
when on a Wednesday you've run out of irl money, you say "its ok, I'll just go hunting after work".
Someone mentions needing to take a brand name painkiller, and you wonder why they're going to Anvil.
All right, my Realming friends, you know the drill. Finish this list! E-mail (or mm Aggi or Hali) your additions to the address at the bottom of the page.
